


On Saturn

by Florchis



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fitzsimmons Appreciation Week, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, LLF Comment Project, Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 06:23:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12788700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florchis/pseuds/Florchis
Summary: Jemma gets shot during a mission, and that reveals itself to be even more of a tragedy than they initially thought. Daisy tries to comfort Fitz after it.





	On Saturn

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Fitzsimmons Week Day 2: Cursed and an anon prompt on tumblr. This is truly angsty, so beware of the tags before reading. I'm sorry. 
> 
> Title from "Saturno" by Pablo Alborán, because I'm an awful person: "En Saturno viven los hijos que nunca tuvimos" (On Saturn live the children that we never had) 
> 
> Rated T for miscarriage referenced.

“Hi, buddy. How are you holding up?” He looks up through his damp eyelashes, and Daisy feels like hitting her own head against the wall, it makes her feel so inadequate. “I mean, I know this sucks. I can imagine few things that would suck more than this. But can I do something for you? Anything?”

He clears his throat, but his voice still sounds rough when he replies.

“Tell me that you didn’t leave her alone.”

Daisy sits down next to him, then, careful of not touching him, not until he gives her any indication that the contact would be welcomed.

“She’s still out of it, but no, May is with her.”

“Good. That’s good.” He looks forward, all his features serious, like he is trying to wipe away the sadness out of pure will, and speaks like he is trying to convince not her but himself. “I'm sorry I went out, I had to gather myself so I could be there for her when she wakes up.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Fitz. We all understand.”

They don’t, actually, and that implication is heavy on the air, but they all have gone through loss and through grief in their own ways, and they can try to empathise with his. She wishes Mack were here for him right now, but also she wishes Mack didn’t have to relive those memories ever again. It’s, actually, a no-win situation.

“Yeah, well.” He rubs his hands down his face slowly. “I don’t, actually. I thought that we already had our fair share of tragedy. But apparently we didn’t.” He started calm, but his voice is breaking up more and more with each word, and his tone is getting heated and angry. Daisy has to refrain herself from touching him to try to calm him down. “It’s my fault. I knew that we were cursed, I shouldn’t have let us keep on going knowing that.”

“Fitz.” He is trying to get his own breathing under control, and she waits till he is looking at her to continue. “You are allowed to be upset, angry, sad. You are allowed to hate the cosmos or whatever entity you think regulates our lives. But, please, don’t take this on yourself.” She knows he will disagree, so she plays her final card quickly. “You wouldn’t put this tragedy on Jemma’s shoulders, would you? Then don’t put it on yours either.”

He looks like he is about to go off anyway, and Daisy is actually ready for whatever reaction this would prompt out of him. She is ready to have to restrain him, to have to physically fight him to prevent that he hurts himself. The sole idea pains her, but she will be whatever they need her to be.

Instead, he deflates suddenly, and he has been her backbone so many times that is actually disorientating to see him like this; Jemma is usually the one to put him back together, not her. (And she will be; if Daisy knows her best friends at all, she knows that they will come out of this even stronger together.) But, again, right now he needs to know that he can crumble and someone will be there to hold him up together; she can be his support for as long as he needs.

She holds him and he cries, and Daisy wishes for so much: wishes that she were the right person to help him through this, wishes that his mother were here for him, wishes that this good people didn’t have to go through this at all. But life is not easy; life has never been easy for either of them, and the only thing they all still got is that they are together. They will have to hold onto that as tight as they can, and that will have to be enough.

But she can not say that now to this man who thought so many times that he had lost everything, and who keeps on losing things that he didn’t even knew he had. Right now, she can only hold him and promise to herself that she would do her absolute best to keep him together so he can go and be a beacon of hope to his wife.

His crying subdues quickly, and Daisy can only imagine that he has stopped crying the shock tears; there will be so many more tears of all kinds on his future. He just breathes, ragged and irregular, against her neck, and Daisy doesn’t break the hug. There is nothing she could say now that would make this any better.            

“Jemma will be waking up in the next few minutes. Thought you might like to be there when it happens.”

They both raise their heads to look at May. If Daisy didn’t know her as well as she does, she would say that May looks as expressionless and as calm as ever, but Daisy notices the unusual tiredness on her features. She nods, and Fitz quickly composes himself. May offers him a tissue and then leaves as inadvertently as she arrived.

Fitz wipes off his face clean, and Daisy straightens up his field gear. It feels like a million years have passed, what with everything that has came tumbling down on them, but all in all it couldn’t have been more than maybe two hours: the mission going rogue, Jemma getting shot, they all arriving to base where they made the terrible discovery.

And the difficult things haven't even stopped yet, because now they have to tell Jemma, who has been (luckily) unconscious during most part of it, and she can already read the dreading feel on his eyes.

(She refuses to let herself think _what would have happened if we knew beforehand?_ She knows Fitz is doing it for both of them, for all of them, and that way of thinking doesn’t make him any favours.)

“Do you want me to come in with you?” She asks, and he hesitates, one hand already on the doorknob. She believes that maybe they should afront this on their own first, but again, she won’t be making any decisions for them; she can only offer whatever she has to offer.

“No.” He decides finally, and Daisy nods. “But maybe wait here? In case she needs you?”

He says _she_ but he means _we,_ Daisy knows. She also knows that he wants to be strong for Jemma, so she lets him put up his facade and doesn’t call him out on it; they have built trust enough that she can be sure that he will come to her when he needs her.

“Sure.”

He swallows hard, nods and gets in without knocking first. Daisy lays her back on the closed door and only then allows her own tears to fall down.    

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of LLF Comment Project, whose goal is to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites:
> 
>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
>   * Prompts
>   * Image reactions
>   * Reader-reader interaction
>   * This author replies to comments.
> 



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